In response to one of our reader's Pukkata Lanka comments about whats wrong with Sri Lanka cricket, here's the answer: we still think it is 1996.
The video tells it all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJu8dMhE1ow&list=PL6C04BFDEC3D01CAB&index=2&feature=plcp
Courtesy of (ripped off from) John Bala.
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Katandarayak
This is the scene tonight of a Sri Lanka father putting his son to bed.
Daddy (Sirisena): Son, that's enough video games, its time for bed.
Son (Parakrama): Dad, I can't sleep, can you tell me a fairytale?
Sirisena: Of course. Once upon a time there was a Sri Lankan cricket team that won a test match. The End.
Parakrama: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Ministry of Education provides new guidelines on 'A' Level paper re-marking
Following the 'A' Level fiasco where students were given dubious marks and marks for subjects that they did not even sit for, the Ministry of Education has provided new guidelines on re-markings. The Ministry advises the students to mark the papers themselves and award grades they think they deserved. The self re-marked papers with the grades should be forwarded to the following address:
Ministry of Education
No. 421/B, You Have Been Had Mawatha
Nachchikuda Branch
Kilinochchi District
University places will be allocated to those who excel at the re-markings, the more far off the candidate is from the actual mark they deserved, the more likely they are for a University place.
Monday, 9 January 2012
France POOFs formally apologise to Sri Lanka by publishing anti LTTE stamp
The Postal Organisation Of France, Seine (Poofs) has released a new stamp to commemorate liberty, equality and fraternity in Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka is now a bastion of democracy, good governance, equal rights and freedom. The Poofs echoing France's own values born out of the storming of the Bastille has released this stamp as a gesture of goodwill to counter the Eelam diaspora's recent publication of LTTE stamps. The White Van is symbolic of Sri Lanka's new found freedoms after the defeat of the LTTE. Patriotic Sri Lankan citizens can now enjoy luxurious, complimentary white van rides ride courtesy of the authorities to any destination they have no desire to visit. So enjoyable are these rides that most passengers never make it back. Demand is so high that the authorities operate a first come, first served policy, if you are the first to voice opinions uncritical of the authorities, you get served first.
Vive La Poofs!
Sunday, 25 September 2011
We are back!
Hello boys, girls and those in between. Long time no post!
Sorry we have been away, but after the Supreme Leader bid us adieu on the 16th of May 2009 (no, it wasn't the 18th), we had nothing much to write about and update you. However, we have to reactivate ourselves for the benefit of our nation. Here's why:
The LTTE is at it again, no not in Sri Lanka, but in every other country under the sun. What started as feeble attempt at retaliation (e.g. their imaginary Transnational Government) has become much more sinister. They have organised themselves after their military defeat. The fund collections from the diaspora never stopped. As the money can no longer go for weapons and their war effort, it has been channelled to the biggest bastards of them all - lawyers. Ever heard of ambulance chasers and "no win, no fee" lawyers. This kind is worse, "human right lawyers". They have been lobbying the UN (most recently at the UN human rights session in Geneva), foreign governments and even private enterprises to impose sanctions on Sri Lanka / boycott our produce.
Our government's reply has been even more feeble, flaccid at best. We almost got a bollocking at the UN human rights council session recently concluded, but due to sheer luck and good timing we escaped any concrete sanctions, warnings and rebukes. This can't happen for long, so therefore we ask our readers mainly based in the western countries to do your best, organise yourselves and lobby back at those who don't want to see our Island enjoy peace.
Watch this space over the course of the next few weeks. Our next article will focus on the foreign power that is marshalling the LTTE diaspora.
EFT
Sorry we have been away, but after the Supreme Leader bid us adieu on the 16th of May 2009 (no, it wasn't the 18th), we had nothing much to write about and update you. However, we have to reactivate ourselves for the benefit of our nation. Here's why:
The LTTE is at it again, no not in Sri Lanka, but in every other country under the sun. What started as feeble attempt at retaliation (e.g. their imaginary Transnational Government) has become much more sinister. They have organised themselves after their military defeat. The fund collections from the diaspora never stopped. As the money can no longer go for weapons and their war effort, it has been channelled to the biggest bastards of them all - lawyers. Ever heard of ambulance chasers and "no win, no fee" lawyers. This kind is worse, "human right lawyers". They have been lobbying the UN (most recently at the UN human rights session in Geneva), foreign governments and even private enterprises to impose sanctions on Sri Lanka / boycott our produce.
Our government's reply has been even more feeble, flaccid at best. We almost got a bollocking at the UN human rights council session recently concluded, but due to sheer luck and good timing we escaped any concrete sanctions, warnings and rebukes. This can't happen for long, so therefore we ask our readers mainly based in the western countries to do your best, organise yourselves and lobby back at those who don't want to see our Island enjoy peace.
Watch this space over the course of the next few weeks. Our next article will focus on the foreign power that is marshalling the LTTE diaspora.
EFT
Sunday, 22 August 2010
Breaking news: EU and Sri Lanka to restart discussions on GSP+
Highly placed sources have informed EFT that the EU and Sri Lanka are to restart discussions on Sri Lanka regaining GSP+. This is due to the recession in the EU, the loss of GSP+ has affected EU retailers' profit margins as garments are more expensive to import. The likes of Marks and Spencer (M&S) are pushing the EU hard to award GSP+ once again to Sri Lanka.
EFT
EFT
Sunday, 15 August 2010
Breaking news: Bust up in SLDF blog
EFT web intelligence officer reports that a blog run by a certain group of like minded individuals has ceased to exist due to internecine warfare. The said individuals are no longer like minded. We encourage all users of that blog to come and comment freely here. Freedom of expression is afforded protection in EFT and we do not censor comments.
EFT
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