Sunday, 22 August 2010

Breaking news: EU and Sri Lanka to restart discussions on GSP+

Highly placed sources have informed EFT that the EU and Sri Lanka are to restart discussions on Sri Lanka regaining GSP+. This is due to the recession in the EU, the loss of GSP+ has affected EU retailers' profit margins as garments are more expensive to import. The likes of Marks and Spencer (M&S) are pushing the EU hard to award GSP+ once again to Sri Lanka.


Sunday, 15 August 2010

Breaking news: Bust up in SLDF blog

EFT web intelligence officer reports that a blog run by a certain group of like minded individuals has ceased to exist due to internecine warfare. The said individuals are no longer like minded. We encourage all users of that blog to come and comment freely here. Freedom of expression is afforded protection in EFT and we do not censor comments.


Tuesday, 10 August 2010

BBC Sinhala Service under attack by former allies

Could it be funds running dry in the former LTTE coffers or the fact that the UK Foreign Office (which funds the BBC Sinhala Service) is threatening to cut down its funding affecting the said service, that less and less biased/anti Sri Lanka and more and more balanced articles are beginning to appear in the BBC Sinhala website?

Examples: Article 1 - Article 2 - Article 3

In the bad old days when the LTTE treasury was overflowing with ill-gotten dollars/pounds, we never saw Tamilnut accusing the BBC of being “mischievous” in its reporting or “exaggerated” in its sayings nor “vicious” in its projection of views. Was it because, in those days we never saw the BBC calling a spade a “spade” or following fundamental principles of good journalism when reporting Sri Lankan affairs.

But now the LTTE gravy fountains are drying up and the credit-crunch-hit UK government is cutting its public spending like there’s no tomorrow, individuals at the BBC Sinhala Service may have realised it prudent to be professional in their journalism in order to try and protect their jobs – for no doubt they must be a talented team of journalists if they put their minds to it and stop getting lured in to mischief when certain temptations are present.

From one journo to another, EFT wish them well. Keep improving. . . .

Saturday, 7 August 2010

LTTE handover control of Vanni to LMTE - Liberation Monkeys of Tamil Eelaam

We thought the war was over - but Monkey Problems still persist in Vanni

Darwin's theory of evolution is finally proven. . . . . in Vanni!

EFT have been reliably informed that surviving LTTE members in Vanni have evolved to a much higher life form, thanks to GOSL creating an environment conducive to macro evolution, since May 2009. They have moved several steps towards civilisation, demonstrated undisputedly by their nobler behaviour. Experts who have been observing these higher life forms have reported that instead of abducting innocent children from poor civilians at gun-point (to use as cannon fodder for a lost cause) they now only pinch "vegetables" and "meagre belongings" while the people are not looking. It is therefore conclusive that these higher forms of monkeys are vegetarians in contrast to their cannibal ancestors who were (almost) totally annihilated by SLDF in May 2009.

There is little doubt that the "resettled" people of Vanni are relieved because this new "Monkey Problem" is far better than the horrific monkey problems they continually experienced before May 2009.

EFT kindly advise Tamilnut website to encourage the die-ass-pora Tamil community from Tooting to Toronto to divert their funds for sufficient supplies of quality peanuts to keep these monkeys evolving until they reach the same level of evolution as an average monkey. May we suggest the compensation money paid to our esteemed McHunger striker be invested in this venture?

For those of you who are sceptical of this news, please see below for completely independent confirmation.