Sunday, 20 December 2009

Taming of the Shrew

By EFT correspondent reporting from New Buhari

EFT earlier reported that the injured Angelo Matthews was replaced by the attacking Colts and Wayamba all rounder. Thissara is known to be the best all rounder in the Island and his first class batting and bowling averages easily surpass Matthews and Maharoof. The public wonders why Thissara has not been picked for the senior squad before, here is EFT’s lowdown:

Although 20 years old, Thissara is already married. His wife is of the traditional Sri Lankan mould, nagging and demanding so much so that she wants to tour wherever he goes (no fault of the poor young girl, its just the way we bring up girls in this country). Poor old (young) Thissara dedicates most of his time to entertain every whim and fancy of his wife which has led to routine skirmishes with the tour management. Thissara has in the past made unreasonable demands regarding his wife’s travel and lodging arrangements from tour management. Tour organisers are already having nightmares given that he is due to join the side in India with his wife in tow. On previous tours his wife has been a pain to all concerned and has made poor old (young) Thissara run around in circles to meet her demands. Thissara has lost many opportunities to tour due to his incorrigible wife. EFT’s advice to Thissara, “Please rein in your wife!” EFT’s other advice to unmarried young players wanting to break into the side is, “for God’s sake don’t get married! And if you do, lay the ground rules from day one!”

Meanwhile a certain Media Manager of a certain South Asian Cricket Board is a known crook. This certain individual has fleeced money out of poor domestic servants in a certain Gulf country promising non existent tickets and subsequently fled this certain Gulf country leaving the poor housemaids stranded and without their hard earned cash saved through immense hardships to return to the certain South Asian country to see their loved ones. EFT implores this certain South Asian Cricket Board to conduct internal investigations about this certain individual’s past affairs. EFT likes to advise the Chairman of the Board not to go the way of Life of Brian and may Saint Thomas impart all his blessings on the corrupt individual to redeem himself. EFT would like to take this oppurtunity to wish all Sri Lankans in Bahrain heading home for Christmas Holidays on Air Lanka a safe and happy flight.



DECOY said...

Mahen, I thought Maharoof is a better choice to replace Mathews given his experience and the success he enjoyed in the IPL under Indian conditions. Testing players towards the latter part of a series may not be prudent.Sadly he has been overlooked by the bunch of selectors headed by the joker.

CASC said...


Hope you will keep the blog going. Cricket is a good metaphor for politics. One would hope that the players of politics will play a decent sportsman-like game, and retire to the pavilion with their heads high when the game is over.


CASC said...

The gents who are spending all their time and energy ridiculing their chosen candidate's opponent should take note that eelamoids are still at war against Sri Lanka.

See news headlines from Guardian.UK
"Sri Lankan guards 'sexually abused girls' in Tamil refugee camp"

පංකාදු ලංකා said...


For Pete's sake man...keep God out of your posts.

No I think Sanga is a good captain. So there...

I am amazed how you find these tit bits of information about our young pip squeaks of cricketers. As long as SLCC does not have a specific regulation regarding the marital status of its players, who are you to advise them one way or the other? It is the armed forces who dictate the marital status of its recruits; I don't think SLCC has come to that...yet. May be you should advise our cricketers to discipline themselves in regards to their nocturnal activities and everything that goes with it.

I do agree that pressures and other factors in the professional game today do affect all areas of a players life and they do need to consider pro's and con's of their life decisions a lot more than before, contrasting them with their ambitions and priorities in playing cricket.

On another note…why don’t you run a presidential election opinion poll and get your readers to vote? If the voters could tick a box for their choice of candidate AND the country they live in, it would be interesting to see how the two main candidates (Mahee & Saraa) are perceived in various parts of the world. How about it Mahen?

Mahen said...

Pankadu-Lanka Madam,

Looks like you are ticking Santa in soft places to get a reply out of EFT boys. God is pervasive in aspects of our lives, so it’s hard to keep him away from anything. Due to too many cowboys running defense matters in Pukka Land, we have taken over the new challenge, however we might come back with defense related crackers time to time.

With respect to your request, we have created an online poll

Mahen said...

News has just reached that Iceland is facing a crisis of epic proportions as they have run out of their entire supply of Maalu Paan (fish buns). Unbeknownst to the rest of world, the Laplanders use maalu paans to get through winter, Santa being a Laplander himself is refusing to take to the air to deliver Christmas presents as he has not had his daily dose of maalu paan, alternate reindeer paan was provided but he spat it out upon the first bite of the vile substitute. The shortage of maalu paans has been attributed to a greedy Chena Boy in East London ordering all of Iceland's maalu paans and gulping it in one go. May God have mercy on the Laplanders.

DECOY said...

Mahen, any thoughts on the selections for the Bangaladesh tour? Joker has again selected his 'gal kolla' Chamara Silva. I still believe Kapu is a far better choice despite his recent failures, but sadly he is not persisted like Silva. Maharoof again ignored. With Mahela, Mathews not in the side the team lacks power hitting and Kapu should have been considered.